Caspian

Hours after giving me a boner, I had seen January make out with her neighbour on his bed, and things had likely ascended beyond that, but I had forced myself to look away.

I wanted to blame her, but what would I even accuse her of? Cheating on me when we weren’t even together in the first place?

But as irrational as it was, it still sent waves of anger through me, and I let myself revel in it for a few minutes before looking back at them. January had fallen asleep in his arms, looking troubled but serene at the same time, making it damn hard for me to stay mad at her.

Rhys rubbed her head and back until the painful expression gave to absolute peace, and then, he took out the lights, restricting me from being able to see what was going on inside.

I had probably brought the entire thing upon myself. Had that guard not caught January’s eyes, she would’ve been sleeping in her own bedroom. Alone. But things had taken a turn for the worse: she had checked the CCTV footages and had realized that someone had edited them, and had gone running to her neighbour. I couldn’t help but be proud at her despite how annoyed I was with the outcome of that.
There was a chance that it was because of the stress that she had chosen to engage in exchanging saliva with Rhys, but, like I said earlier: I wasn’t having any rational thoughts.

The next morning, I felt worse than I had when I had been hungover for the first time in my life, and that’s saying something. I had spent the previous night drinking and then, working out until my muscles ached and my head had grown too heavy for me to sit, much less stand, straight.

I had fallen asleep against a wooden shelf, which hadn’t been good for either my head or my neck.

After taking an aspirin, I opened the curtains slightly to check on January. Her room was empty, so, I turned the direction of my gaze to Rhys’s room, and sure enough, there she was: running after him with something in her hand.

At times like this, it was really hard to stay mad at her.

Just as I felt the anger subside, I saw Rhys grab her waist and pull her close into his arms and say something to her.

She bit her lip and I saw his gaze lower to it but fortunate for him, he didn’t kiss her again. He lowered his neck to touch her forehead with his and she closed her eyes as if she was breathing in the moment.

The glass of water in my hand broke into pieces, piercing my skin, and I let its remains fall to the floor.

She was in love with him.

***

I watched as January walked into the classroom alongside Rhys. I found them whispering things to each other and chuckling, and rage curled up again inside me.

Jealousy was a bitch.

Laughing once again, January said something before pilling her books on her bench and sliding in her seat. She met my eyes and her smile broadened and my bad mood slipped away instantly.

I felt myself smile in response without having to think of it at all, and her eyes brightened at my response. Her gaze lowered and I turned mine as well to see what had caught her eyes.

“What happened, are you okay?” she asked as she noticed my bandaged hand.

No, I am going insane about you as much as smiling at other men and I need to go to therapy to get jealousy issues under control.

I keep that to myself and instead, say,

“Nothing to concern your pretty little head with, Noctiluca,”

She laughed at the nickname. “Still adamant on calling me a protist, huh?”

I could only muster a smile in response.

The class ended sooner than I would’ve preferred, but then again, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t let it end at all. Just to keep January in the same room as me.

“See you later, Mr Grey,” she waved, her cheerfulness persisting through the lecture.

I waved back, trying to control the stupid grin battling my muscles to take over my face. I wasn’t a school-kid, for god’s sake, but I was still waiting for the day to be over and for the clock to strike three so I could see her again.

“You’re early,” I noted as January walked into the class at quarter to three, munching on a granola bar.

“I am sorry, I just had nothing to do,” she blurted, her eyes widening. I’ll just wait here quietly until you’re done with your work. I am so sorry-”

“Relax, January,” the words left my mouth and she looked up at me, innocence dripping from her gaze and I realized that it was the first time I had addressed her by her first name. I had muttered it to myself countless times to get it right, to feel her essence, but it had sounded mundane, like a simple name of a month that it was.

But in her presence, in an empty classroom, the name felt more intimate.

“Sit down,” I ordered softly to clear the tension building in the room, and she sat down on her usual spot. “Did you revise ‘respiration’ yesterday?”

She nodded and I proceeded to ask her some questions before starting with Ecology.

January was a natural at biology, but if she hadn’t been able to understand respiration before, I wouldn’t be able to make it any better directly. So, I decided to teach her that topic once week so as to not overburden her with that.

She loved Ecology, and for the Olympiads, Ecology was an important topic, so, I decided to teach her Ecology after Respiration, to balance it out.

An hour later, she looked thoroughly exhausted, her eyes dropping from timidness and I couldn’t help but ask, “Did you not sleep last night?”

She had fallen asleep rather peacefully in Rhys’s arms at a proper hour, and she shouldn’t be tired, unless they’d woken up in the middle of the night to…

“I did. I had enough sleep. Just not the peaceful kind,” she answered honestly, and I didn’t miss the crack in her voice.

“Nightmares?” I questioned tenderly and she nodded and remorse creeped up on me and I couldn’t help but confess, “It was me,”

“What?” she asked, blinking away the sleep at my statement.

“I was the one who was standing outside your house yesterday. I knew your parents were out of town so I decided to visit you to make sure that you were alright,” I admitted quietly. “I am sorry. I was afraid that you’d get creeped out by my approach, so, I tampered with the footages. I never meant to scare you so much,”

I was lying.

It wasn’t me, it had been a guard, and that’s why I had to delete the footage. I could still explain why I had come to visit her, but explaining the fact that I had hired a guard to keep an eye on her sounded way too stalker-y even in my head.

The fright in her eyes was unmissable, and there was something else there too, something that resembled anger, but it vanished as soon as I caught it and I realized that she wanted to scream at me.

I had traumatized her, and she wanted to yell at me and tell me how much it’d impacted her emotionally and mentally, but she supressed those urges and gathered herself before speaking, “Thanks for checking up on me,” there was gratitude in her voice alongside a hint of curtness. “I really appreciate the concern. But in future, please don’t hide yourself. I would rather know it was you then toss and turn all night in fear of being the next victim of a serial killer,”

“Careful there, Ms Decembers, I can turn out to be one anytime,” I joked and she gave me a weak smile in response.

Good. She was smiling. That was good.

“Let me drop you off at your home,” I offered but she shook her head.

“My driver will come and drop me, don’t worry,” she answered, looking anywhere but at me. I wanted to offer her another apology, but I was aware that she deserved something more than a ‘sorry’.

“Very well then,” I replied before taking a step back. I offered her a soft smile before whispering, “See you tomorrow, Ms Decembers,”

She was out of the door in less than a minute, and my heart rate fell drastically as I watched her leave.

I packed my things up and locked my office before walking to the parking lot. Upon exiting, I found January standing beside the gate, her fingers wrapped tightly around her phone as she looked at the road in front of her, clearly waiting for her driver.

I pulled the car to the other side of the gate but didn’t step outside. It wasn’t until she had taken a seat in the backseat that I left for my own apartment.

I had only just pulled into a street when my phone started ringing. The call was from an unknown number but my number was hard to get, so, I knew for a fact that it wasn’t a spam call.

I pressed on a button on the steering wheel before saying, “Hello,”

“How are you doing, my favourite brother?”

I smiled out of instinct upon hearing his voice. “I was doing great until I heard your voice,”

“Hilarious. Father wants to know when you’ll be back,” he spoke, coming directly to the point.

“And here I thought you called to check up on me. I am offended, brother,”

I could feel his eyes roll. “Being delusional isn’t a good look on you brother,”

“Tell father I will be back when it fits me,”

“I am sending you his number. You call him and tell him yourself. Not getting in the middle of your pathetic ego-war,”

“It’s not pathetic, you little wanker, and you know it. I’ll text him myself then, since you seem rather incapable of doing so,”

“What’s crawled up your ass?” he asked, the concern evident in his voice.

“There’s this stupid girl,”

“I sincerely hope that didn’t happen literally-”

“I like her. She’s too young for me. Also liked someone else. You would see why I am not the happiest about the conclusion,”

“Ah. Oh, such a tragedy unrequinted love is!” he spoke dramatically before saying. “When you said she’s too young…bloody hell! You don’t mean to tell me that you’ve fancied a ten-year-old, do you?”

“God, no! She’s almost eighteen,”

“Thank God, or I would’ve had to disown you!”

“You can’t disown me, punk!”

“I can’t, but mum loves me more and she’d love to comply!”

“Are you done? ‘Cause I have work to do,”

“I was going to help you get that girl, but your behavior has disappointed me. Needless to say, you won’t be getting anything out of me,”

“I am just as efficient at charming women, thank you very much,”

“And where has that charm of yours led you?” I could almost see the smirk playing on his face. When I didn’t say anything in response, he said, “Send her flowers. Not roses though, something unique and symbolic. Something she didn’t know she loved or needed until then. Then move to food. Women love sugar and chocolate. Text me when you get past these two phases, I will teach you more,”

I don’t thank him, partly because he’s my brother and partly cause he had divulged nothing that I hadn’t already know. Instead, I said, “You finally turned out to be useful!”

“Fuck you,” he said jokingly before ending off the call and I smiled to myself as an idea crawled into my head.