I was on my way to make the best impression in front of my biology professor by telling him just how much and exactly why I hated biology.

What a fun way to start an evening, right?

I sipped my drink, it was supposed to an affogato, something I liked very much. I thought of an answer in my head; watching organs and dissecting worms had always been something I had disliked.

I had been that person ever since I was a kid. Looking at insects, dissecting amphibians, holding organs, it all seemed plain stupid to me.

Of course, that wouldn’t be the best way to start the conversation.

“I am not sure. Biology lab never really did make sense to me. It always felt like a waste of time. I mean what do I care about how ovaries look?”

“That’s reasonable. Do you believe it is because you never really tried to excel at it?”

“Sorry?”

“I think you need to give it a try and look into it once. What do you think?”

“Maybe…” I sighed, looking down at my partially melted ice-cream. “Thank you so much for bringing me here, though…This is a cool place!”

“I am aware. It’s the best restaurant I could think of!”

“Can’t believe we’re having coffee in a restaurant!”

He gave a small chuckle. Do chuckles have an accent as well? I knew not. His face turned serious in a moment and he questioned, “But would you like something to eat?”

“No, I am good, thanks. This is enough. Next thing you know, you’ll be wasting your salary bringing all the people failing biology here.”

“Whatever gave the idea that I invited you here because you were failing biology, or that I am going to bring all my students here?”

“As someone reminded me yesterday, you are my teacher,”

“That piece of information has been stored rather well in my head. Just as strongly as the rest of you,”

“Real smooth, professor,” I commented, uttering the word ‘professor’ with heavy sultry voice and a flirtatious gaze. He wasn’t actually a professor, but it sounded hot, and who was I to defy the urge to call that man something that hot?

“So, why do you hate the expression of genes?” he asked me.

“I am not sure. It never really did make sense to me. It always felt like a waste of time. I mean what do I care about helicase and all those enzymes?”

“That’s reasonable.”

“Apart from that, there was always so much to remember, and it never made sense, you know! Like, there was always so much content and so many names and function!”

“Go on…”

“I just can’t do it all, you know?”

“Do you believe it is because you never had a good teacher?”

“Sorry?”

“I think you need a teacher who understands that brain of yours, who knows how it will accept the information you feed it. What do you think?”

“I think, you think too high of yourself to believe that you’ll be the one to change my attitude towards it,”

His grin melted my heart faster than a furnace at two hundred degrees could’ve. “Tell me, January, do you learn in physics why there is a gravitational pull between two bodies? Why they are attracted to each other?”

“I don’t know about others, but I do know somebody I am attracted to, and I damn well know why!”

He ignored my comment rather skillfuly. Rolling his eyes, he spoke, “See, not everything must have a reason for you to understand it!”

After my drink was over, he insisted to drive me home.

See, I never liked showing strangers where I lived, but if he were to break into my house that night, I knew I wouldn’t mind in the least.

His car was one of those things you saw in the movies, and I told myself to ask him where he got the money from the next time we met.

It had a pure black exterior and a lavish cream interior. The leg-space was to die for, and seeing him in a suit, driving that car did something to me.

I tried to not stare at him, I tried so hard, but fate just wasn’t on my side that day. Eventually, I convinced myself to put aside my pride and stare at him. He already knew I was attracted to him, so why bother?

“Stop staring at me, love, it’s getting creepy.”

“Is it, professor?” I asked jokingly. He gave me a sideways glance before pulling into my street. He dropped me off right in front of my house. I got out, trying my level best to not ruin his car with the dirt on my shoes.

I closed the passenger door and  pulled out my bag, fishing for my keys.

“January!” called a voice from my house’s yard.

“Rhys?” I asked, confused as to what he was doing there. He looked at me-relief, guilt and fear clouding his face, and I instinctively cupped his cheek and asked, “What happened, mia cara?”

“I couldn’t find you! I looked everywhere in the school before leaving, searched the street from end to end. Where were you? I called you like fifteen times!”

“Oh, my phone died cause of low battery,” Or maybe I had turned it off to ignore him.

“I am so sorry-”

“Is there a problem, Miss Decembers?” came a sharp voice from behind me. I turned to realize that Mr Grey hadn’t left yet. He had pulled down the window of the passenger seat and was looking at the two of us with sincerity I had never seen before.

“No, Sir!”

“Then please get in quickly. It’s not safe for you to be out loitering the streets in that outfit,”

I expected him to leave. But he didn’t.

We stared at each other for a short moment before I guided Rhys to inside my house and only when I closed my door, I saw him drive away from the window.

“What were you doing with him?” thick scepticism and even thicker judgement rang in his voice.

“He found me upset and took me out for a spin and a cup of coffee,” I tried my best to sound non-chalant and as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Wow,” he grabbed his head and gave me a maniacal smile, shaking his head. “Wow, you’re fucking a teacher now. You know what, I am not sorry. Why should I be? I was only being honest, and I am right, ain’t i?”

“Rhys-”

“I was worried sick about you and you were out there having sex with a teacher! You know how worried I was?”

“It’s not my fault! Don’t blame me! If you hadn’t made that comment in the morning, none of this would’ve happened!”

He ignored my statement. “Were boys of three grades combined less for you that you had to go after a professor?”

“I didn’t have sex with him!”

“He looked rich. Tell me, how much did he pay you-”

The sound of my hand coming in contact with his cheek cackled across the hall. “Get out,”

He grabbed my neck roughly and slammed my head into the wall behind us. My vision darkened for a brief second and I hit his arm, trying to loosen his grip around my neck, but that only made him press harder.

“I bet you weren’t complaining when he did this,” he let go of me and stepped back, “Bitch,” he spat before turning on his heel and leaving the house.

Without his hand supporting my weight, I collapsed. My head was still sore from the hit I had a week and a half back from Angeline. I grabbed my phone, unsure who to call.

My mom? She’d probably be busy and have better things to take care of.

My dad? He’d freak.

Rivika? She’d freak as well, not to mention that she’d kill Rhys.

Daniel? No, it just didn’t seem right.

I dropped my phone and realized that I had no one. I was one of the most popular girls of my school and I had absolutely no friend that I could call over.

Tears didn’t come this time, they left me as well.

I thought about Mr Grey and his words. Not everything had a reason for you to understand it.

And he was right.

Not always do you know why something happens. All you can do is assess the damage or the gifts, analyse the benefits and then let the cause go to hell, pack your bags and fight through it.

Why did I love Daniel? Just that way, why did I hate gene coding?

Perhaps it was better than I had given it credit for. Perhaps is was beautiful, like ecology was.

There were thousands of people who loved it, who had spent their lives drinking in genetics. Why? No one knows.

Why?

Why did Rhys treat me so horribly and why was there blood flowing from my head?

Why did everyone leave, darling, where was everyone right when I needed them?

Everyone?

Who?

I tried to collect pieces of my memories, tried to remember who I was thinking about, but the lack of blood had shaken up all my memories.

I didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know where everyone was, didn’t know who I was even looking for.

Faces came into my mind with no labels. I saw a young blonde boy with the most beautiful shade of green for eyes. I saw a man with glasses in a suit, and I saw a guy with simple features: black hair and black eyes.

Even those images started fading slowly from my brain, poured out with the blood along with my consciousness.

There was a lot of noise when I woke up, sirens, people I couldn’t identify and a kind blonde lady who wouldn’t stop shaking me.

“January!” she shouted. “Please stay with us!”

I did for a second, but the thread tying my mind to my body vapourised the next second.

What happened next was just as hazy; I was surrounded by people wearing light green. Doctors, my mind plucked that piece of information from somewhere deep and handed it to me.

They were moving their hands, doing something I couldn’t understand. I was fine, and I wanted them to know.

But how does one make sounds? Their lips were moving but in the midst of all the mayhem, all I found was silence.

Noise, words, had left me.

How do I talk? How do I hear?

Confusion, panic and anxiety creeped up on me all together.

I tried to raised my legs, tried to get to my feet to show them that I was fine, but my mind had no clue how to do such a thing.

I tried to move my hands next, and perhaps it worked, at least that was what I told myself when they flashed some light in my eyes.

I was alive, I was aware of everything that was happening, but how do I tell them?

My vision failed me next. I tried to flutter my eyes open, my eyes that seemed like they were already open.

I tried to move, to make a sound, to hear or at least see something, but I felt as if I was in a black pit all alone, trying to reach out to something; my vision, my hearing, my voice, my body, my memories, but nothing came.

I was truly and utterly lonely.

Maybe that was my hell.

My mind struggled to do something, to feel something, and hearing was the first to come back.

It was faint, and I almost couldn’t recognise it.

“ She’s responding…” I heard someone say. I recognised the words, the language, and it took me a moment to interpret what they meant.

There was a faint beeping noise, shuffling sounds and suddenly the blackness was replaced by haziness. Picture came in front of me, moving pictures.

People, I could see them running around, but it was only till my vision failed me again and I was pulled back into the darkness that was waiting for me only so eagerly.